Right here’s a method the way to enhance your Stanford (or any) roommate essay should you’ve already written a draft:
1. Depend what number of particulars in your essay reveal one thing deep and true about you.
However which particulars reveal one thing deep and true? And what does a “deep and true” element sound like? You determine.
Check out these particulars:
I don’t snore in my sleep.
I spent final summer time at West Level and Annapolis, the place I used to be advised I’d be admitted if I utilized. I made a decision to not so I may spend extra time with my household.
I went to an LA Galaxy sport with my buddies two weeks in the past.
I competed in rodeos for 3 years.
I really like Justin Timberlake, NCIS, The Strolling Useless, Avatar, and The Voice.
I’ve at all times been the woman who does probably the most push-ups, pull-ups, and sit-ups, however that’s in all probability as a result of I’m often the tiniest woman and have the least weight to cope with.
Which might you retain? Which might be minimize?
Finally it’s a matter of private desire, however listed here are two suggestions:
Discover when two or three particulars are speaking the identical factor. Instance: “Operating relaxes me” and “I’m on the observe staff” aren’t clearly totally different. Minimize one.
Specificity often wins. Instance: “I’ve a large assortment of crystals, American cash predating the 1940’s, and ammonite fossils in my closet” is best than “I acquire issues.”
And two private preferences:
Preserve popular culture references to a minimal. One or two is okay. 5 is, I believe, too many. Combine it up with some old fashioned or traditional stuff. Instance: Jay-Z and Al Inexperienced (or) Wreck-it Ralph and Fellini’s eight ½.
Possibly don’t use exclamation factors greater than thrice. Except you’re being ironic.
Now look again at your personal essay. That are the nice (keeper) particulars and that are form of weak? Minimize the weak ones. A lot about you is fascinating and exquisite and totally different. Don’t accept boring particulars on this essay. Or in any essay. Or in life.
2. When you’ve recognized your particular, distinctive particulars, determine if you wish to embrace MORE particulars and LESS clarification or the alternative.
Instance of MORE particulars and LESS clarification:
In my room, a Korean ballad streams from American-made laptop audio system, whereas a chilly December wind wafts the smells of ramen and leftover pizza. On the wall within the far again, a Korean flag hangs apart from a Led Zeppelin poster.
The creator’s level is fairly clear, and although he doesn’t want to clarify it, he does later:
…This mélange of cultures in my East-meets-West room embodies the range that characterizes my worldwide scholar life.”
These particulars may stand on their very own, although, and the “present” requires little “inform.”
Instance of a FEWER particulars and MORE clarification:
I really like enjoying piano. I play it once I volunteer on the hospital, in senior resident properties, and at my Church. Each time, after I play on the designated location, each the aged and the kids smile contentedly, emanating a happiness that I’ve by no means seen elsewhere—a pleasure that everybody ought to have the ability to expertise.
Which do you favor? Once more, it’s a matter of private desire.
For my cash, although, “present” is larger than “inform” for this sort of essay.
And most private essays.